my pregnancy journal from 7 years ago...

was going through my email cleaning out some files and stumble upon my 1st pregnancy journal from 7 years ago when i was pregnant with my first child tiffany. she will be turing 7 years old in a few weeks. i can't believe how much time has creep up on us. anyway.. here's a few entry's to share. lol. i'm shock at some things i wrote lol. but mostly embarrased. haha. these were my journal or more like letters to my daughter.
Subject: It's A Girl!!! Date: Tue, 26 Jul 2005

Had my ultrasound last thursday on 7/21/05. The million dollar >question we've been waiting for we have finally got. It's gonna be a >baby girl. I am soooo excited. YOU'RE A GIRL!!! The feeling is just overwelming. >Though I thought it was gonna be a boy, guess I was wrong. But >having a girl is just unbelievable. I am looking forward to dressing >you up, dolling you up. Something I've always wanted to do. Even my >little neices and cousins I do that to all the time. Now I've got >one of my own to do that to. I still can't believe it. I'm gonna >have a daughter. We're gonna have a daughter. It was amazing seeing >you for the first time on the ultrasound. You're so tiny and >precious. I can only wonder now who you're gonna look like, Daddy or >Mommy. I sure hope you have your daddy's height. Your daddy on the other >hand is thrilled to have a baby girl. He's already picking out names >left and right. So far we've agreed on Lauren, Julia, and >Tiffany. I like all of them a lot. It's gonna be so hard to chose >the perfect name for you. We are still looking and searching for any >names we may like.>I am starting to feel your kicks and movements. They aren't that >strong yet but I know it's you. They tickle and feel like little gas >bubbles. It's such an awesome feeling. I just hope it gets stronger >so that your daddy can feel em too. I know he can't wait to feel them. >It's gonna be amazing.>I can't wait to buy you cute little clothing. You already got your >first onesie. Auntie Meetas bought you one, it's sooo cute. It says, >"made in minnesota". I almost cried. I can't wait to bring you into >this world. I've got so many great aunties and uncles I want to >introduce you too. Especially her grandma and grandpa. They are >gonna be thrilled to see their first granddaughter. Speaking of >grandma, she is picking out your hmong/middle name. So far >she's got "Sheng Yen and Xeenhia". meaning smooth and lovable. I >like em both. We'll see what else she comes up with.


Subject: Stress 4
4/28/05 - thurs

Wish I could take a shot of tequila right now. Lately I've been >feeling like I'm under a lot of pressure. Just little things seem to >tick me off. I'm trying to stay undercontrol but it's hard.>Though I did have a good sleep last night.It's only thursday. It feels like it should be friday. Or saturday. >Michael's wedding's this weekend and I'm not really up for doing >anything or waking up early.Your daddy's feeling much better as the days go by so that's good. I was >crying the other night cause I was just so worried about him. But >his stomach problem is slowly going away. Doctor said he got the stomach flu.>This morning I woke up and I thought to myself, I wanna go to >college. Get a good paying job. I mean, I have one already but I >want a career. For you. For my family. I don't know. Maybe it >was just a thought. My mom did say she will pay for my school if I >go. Hmmm, should I? >Well if I am planning on it then I'll wait til after you are born. Right now I can barely wake up to go to work. What makes me >thing I can get up to go to school also!!?? Your mommy can be pretty lazy! Hope you aren't like me.
-love, mommy


date: 10/18/05 childbirth class

The past weekend 10/15- 10/16/05, me and your daddy had our first Childbirth Class. It was saturday and sunday from 10-4:30. I must admit, it was quite an experience. We learned a lot of stuff. Mainly breathing techniques for labor. I sure hope I remember them once labor begins. I never knew that your body does all it's work for you, all you need to do is relax and control your body and not tense up so that you can come out easy. That's so amazing how your body knows what to do. We also saw a lot of labor videos. First few ones I couldn't really watch, but after the 3rd one, it was a piece of cake. I found laboring to be quite a beautiful site to watch. We also got a tour of the place where I will be delivery you. The rooms are huge. About the size of our living room. They have big rooms and small rooms, whichever one is available at the time of my delivery then that room I will have. I really hope it's the big one. But it doesn't matter.Though I still got less then 2 months away, it doesn't seem long at all. Soon you will be in our arms. I can't wait to meet you for the first time in the hospital. I just know it's gonna be so emotional.- love, mommy


Aug 18, 2005- daddy felt you move for the first time

Your daddy felt your kicks for the first time last night. He had a big smile on his face and his eyes nearly popped out. I thought it was the cutest thing. You sure have been moving and kicking a lot lately. Pretty soon he'll be able to see you move from my stomach. I can't wait for that. I'm 23 weeks now, over half way there. I'm sure enjoying pregnancy a lot but your daddy and I can't wait to hold you for the first time in our arms. We want to see you so bad. I'm getting all teary just thinking bout that special day when you arrive into this world. Our little gift from God. (3 1/2 more months to go) Auntie Gao and Uncle Telong visited this weekend, they bought so much stuff for you. Lots of bottles, bottle drying rackets, bottle cleaner, a cute cute baby diaper bag and lots more. They are so sweet and thoughtful to be buying us so much. More then we needed. Thank you so much to Auntie Gao and Uncle Telong. I can't wait for you to meet them. They are one of the greatest people out there. We are so lucky to have such great friends like them. They can't wait for your arrival either. -love, Mommy

10/12/05 your new crib

As it get closer and closer to my due date, Mommy is getting more and more nervous. I've already had how many minor panic attacks. It's tough, I can't help but worry about little things that I probably shouldn't even be worrying about. Counting down the weeks as it goes by. I am now at 8 weeks, not much left to go. Your daddy and I went and bought a baby crib for you a few weeks ago. Also went and got you a crib bedding set that is soo cute. It has butterlies and flowers in soft pink, soft yellow, soft green, soft purple shades of colors. I washed it very good and cleaned it very nicely. It's just waiting for you to rest your tiny head and body in. I sure hope it will be comfortable for you. Winter is getting close and I need to go buy some more winter warm clothes for you since you will be arriving in the winter. It's going to be really cold. I want you to be warm and safe. We will probably be staying home the first 2 months until it gets cooler then I will take you out. Me: I have been feeling more and more tired these few weeks. My naps have turned from 2 hours to 5 hours. I never knew how much a person can sleep. I haven't been exercising much which I should because it's healthy for me. Me and your daddy will probably have to hit the gym this weekend to do some walking. Unless the weather behaves then we will go walk at the park.Also I have been eating twice as much as I use to. I wonder how much I've gain since my last doctor's appointment which was on 9/21/05. (3 weeks ago). I wanna say I've gained 6 pounds. I have been feeding you so good. I don't know if you can taste it but if you can then lucky for you too. I need to slow down my appetite. Sometimes I am going a little too overboard with the food I'm taking in. Well, that's all for now! I will be updating very soon again. -Love Mommy

12/13/05 -overdue

Well, I am initially 3 days overdue. You still haven't decided you want to come into this world yet. Chances are, if you don't come around by this weekend, for sure the midwife will probably force you to come out. This is call Induced. Me and your daddy is getting very impatient of waiting. We really want you to be here so hurry up!!! Overall, I am feeling good. Been tired and losing my energy. But today I feel good. I've got lots of rest, sometimes too much rest. Been on maternity leave since Dec. 5th. I'm pretty bored out of my mind but I need this time to rest. I just wish you'd be here by now so I have more time to spend it with you before I go back to work on Feb. 6th. At the mean time I'll just sit and wait and wait some more. -love, Mommy

reading these sure brings back a lot of memory. some of them i don't even remember writing. haha.. i didn't keep a journal for landon. but i am keeping a video journal for this pregnancy. its been fun and best part going down memory lane and reading em. lol. hope u guys enjoyed it as much as me :D
i'm just thankful i documented them. i have over 50 entrys but only sharing a few. if ur pregnant.. u should do the same too. i think tiff will have a blast reading these.

fall 2012 family photos and a mini gateaway

click on the photo to see bigger

this week my daughter has 3 days off school so we quickly took advantage of it since weather is still nice and the colorful bright fall leaves are still intact. we anticipated on driving out of town to visit husdon because weather predicted it was going to rain 90% but after praying and praying hard we left with no rain just clouds. We really had no plan what to do and where to get except we wanted to take fall pictures and take the kids to ride their bike around town.
Our first stop was my husband's favorite fishing scene. very beautiful and right in the center of hudson river. but the wind literally blew us away. the kids couldn't even ride their bike without struggling against the wind. lol.. funny thinking bout landon's expression.
we left shortly after and drove to willow river park.. i believe thats the name of the state park. the area was pretty big. tons of campground and hiking trails. we even saw 3 deers upclose to us. landon was so frighten by it he refuse to get out of the car. we drove up to the dam and stop there to take photos. it was very pretty and scenary took our breath away. it started to dribble a little but stopped after 15 minutes. we were able to take some good shots before the kids got cold and hungry. below are photos we took. enjoy

Illustrating love in your family

I grew up in a home where holding one another and kissing publicly was a taboo regardless if you’re married or not but mostly if you’re not married.  I was taught that it did not look good, it was shameful, and people will look at you as if you don’t have any manners.  It was just something you just don’t do.  I’ve even heard some say it was part of our culture.  Holding hands and holding each other, snuggling, or kissing should not be display in public nor in your home in front of your children.  It should only be in private when there is no one around.  Now I am not talking about any inappropriate kissing or touching,  that should remain entirely private for you and your spouse only.  But you guys know what I mean.

So after my husband and I had our first born, Tiffany... we hardly showed any love towards one another in front of her.  We showed her plenty of love from us but we made sure she didn’t see us hug or kiss.  I do remember a moment when Tiffany was about a year and a half and I came home and gave Pary a kiss on the cheeks and she started giggling.  Then I gave him another kiss and she ran to us so filled with excitement that she gave me and her daddy a kiss all over our faces.  It was such an unforgettable moment.  But I remember thinking; we better stop this because I felt shameful.  We held hands in front of her but nothing more than that. 

After we had our second child we started to illustrate more love in the home in front of the children.  We realized how much of a difference the atmosphere changed.  Pary and I hugged all the time, I would lie in his arms, and he would hold me in his.  I would kiss him (nothing inappropriate of course) and even in bed in the morning when the kids come running in to see us cuddling in bed.  We’d watch movie night together and just snuggle tightly together.  And when we did this, our children would love it so much that they’d jump right in and want to be snuggle with us as well.  When Pary and I kiss each other, my children would giggle so happily and want us to kiss each other more.  Their face expression was so adorable.  It was nothing like, “eeew mommy and daddy what are you guys doing, that’s gross”.  Instead they wanted us to keep kissing each other.  They felt a love connection by our display for one another and in return they responded in a positive way. 

Just as if you were arguing, and your children are there, they will respond in anger screaming for you both to stop.  I realize I was raised that yelling inside the home was more normal to express then showing love for one another.  And boy was that all completely wrong.  I remember talking to a friend once; she said that in her home, her and her husband does not show any kind of love in front their children.  She said it’s wrong.  She too was raise the same way I was raise.  But I shared with her that if anyone is going to set an example of love to our children, shouldn’t they see it from their own parents inside their home first? We expose hate, anger, yelling, screaming, violence, verbal abuse in our home so easily but how is it that we can’t demonstrate true love in our home? It should be the other way around, love should be easy to perform and fighting should be kept in private.

I hear some people talk about how they get gross out when they see their parents kiss, flirt or snuggle making remarks let, “eeew… you guys make me want to throw up”.  It just breaks my heart so bad when I hear them feel this way.  So sad that we live in a society where expressing love can be seen as a curse, disgusting or sickening.  Love has turn to such a wrongful and foul view in today’s definition.

I am happy that Pary and I are comfortable in agreeing to illustrate our love for one another in front of our children.  We have seen such a major change in the environment of our home, there’s just a joyful unity and warmth in our family.  I think it is so important to practice this in your home and in front of your children. 

After 31 years I finally saw my dad and mom hugged and that was after I told dad to go give mom a hug.  This was during mom’s birthday celebration when mom and dad were giving a special speech and dad was tearing.  It was then that I realized… I have never seen them hug. And the moment was so special to me.  There’s no doubt that my parents love each other but as their daughter, I just wanted to see more affection to be shown towards each other.  I don’t know if you guys feel that way but that’s how I feel about my parents. I want to see them hold hands, cuddle together, I want to see them kiss, see them flirt together, or crack jokes at each other, make fun of one another, laugh together, laugh at each other. My parents are always so serious around us and speaking so firmly to one another that I wish they’d be more loving. 

I remember recently I asked my mom, “Mom... how come you and dad never hold hands or hug?” and my mom said they’re just not like that. I told her, “Mom that is such a lie, you are one of the most hugging people I know”; she laughed and said... well your dad isn’t like that. Of course I went on saying, well it’s not like you can’t hug dad.  I also told her while in tears that my whole life I have never seen them hug, or kiss, or hold hands and when I saw them do that on her birthday it warmed me up so much that I wanted to see more.  I also told her, we as children, long to see our parents put their love into action.  It makes us very happy to see that.  She just smiled.  Even in the Bible, it says the bonding is what brings perfect love. Love should be express non-stop. 

I want my children to look back when they get older and be able to say, “My parents were always so in love.  We were always surrounded in a tenderly and passionate home”.  I don’t want them to look back be sad and say, “I’ve never seen my parents hug, or I’ve never seen them speak loving words to one another”.  The way that you and your spouse express yourself to each other plays big role in how your children will be.  This has been studied and proven.  So a gentle reminder…  choose love, public love.  Perform it every day not just towards your children, but your spouse.  Children feed off of this and it helps them and nurture them into a healthy future.  Let them remember mommy and daddy as loving people, not yelling people. Always give your children a cherishable memory to reflect on when they get older, this is the most valuable thing that you can give to your children.

pregnancy: estimated due date

pregnancy update: estimated due date is june 11 but may be sooner. will be doing an ultrasound next week to confirm. either way i'm happy it'll be a summer baby. :DDD tiff and landon both are born winter time.

when i was pregnant with tiff (2005) i went with a midwife which was super please with. my midwife took such great care of me and really gave me the attention i needed especialy it was my first born.

when pregnant with landon (2008) i decided to with a doctor just to see how it went. doctor was nice too but i liked the midwife more.

so with this pregnancy i went with midwife again. and so glad i did. my midwife is super sweet and funny. and very genuine. i already know i'm going to be well taken care of and baby will be too.

i asked pary to see if he wanted to go to the doctor's appointment with me today. he was there for tiff and landon thru out every single appointment. he never missed one. well.. i think for landon he missed like one. but he was always there. so involve and wanting to be by my side all the time.

so this time i thought maybe he didn't want to go, i mean. its baby #3 so maybe he'll probably be like, "u can go on ur own". but nope.. he still wants to be just as involve as the other two. and i am so bless for that. i know doctor appointments can be long but i am so thankful he was there with me. he's already excited about the ultrasound appt next week.

landon my 3 year old son is also very involve with the appointments too. he gets excited when i tell him we're taking baby to see doctor.

beautiful october

october 2007 i tried to end my life,
october 2009 i gave my life to God,
october 2012 we found out God has bless us with another life

oh october you are such a meaningful month to us. it is definiltey a month filled with holidays and celebrations :DDD

fighting against human sex trafficking

fighting against human sex tafficking project update: i have been working on so many projects for raising awareness on the human sex trafficking. i don't even know where to start. each day i pray God to give me emotional strength because this stuff is no joke. and many times i fear because what can little sandy possibly do to make a difference. but its not about me, its about these victims. i ca...

n choose to sit back and act like nothing's going on or i can at least speak it out. spread the word.. educate people on what i've learn and what i know about it. my journey continues... i don't believe in fighting but this is worth fighting for.. the brokeness in their eyes is all i keep seeing in my mind and it breaks me so bad. *deep breath*. -ok sandy get it together-

alright.. so end of this month i am hosting a gathering at my home and i will be screening the sex trafficking documentary call Nefarious in my home. You can't really see this documentary unless you purchase the dvd because its not out on redbox or netflix or rental yet. But I will have it and will screen it. I will be doing a few showings and will send out invites. If this is something you're interested please comment below or message me. my place cannot hold a lot of people so there will be limited seatings but again, each month i will be doing showings so if you miss this month, you can come next month! thank you all... and God bless! Will keep all updated.

here's a trailer for nefarious. please take the time to watch it. Thank you all!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q-VC8AUE3Bc

tiffany and i started taking violin classes together. this week was our first week and so far we are having a lot of fun. i'm just enjoying this time with her and learning new things. its the cutest thing to see her so focus and eager to learn new things.

the only problem i have is that her teacher does not have experience with someone as young as her so he seemed frustrated and impatient at times so i decided to enroll her with another teacher. i hope the new teacher will be be better. i, however will continue to stick with him.

first week we pretty much went over how to hold the violin and posture our body and positioning our violin under our neck. we've been practicing that on our own at home as well. we also learned some of the string notes as well. tiffany is too funny she wanted to learn how to play a song right away but ofcourse i told her that we will be doing that later but first we have to learn how to hold it so we can practice it.

 

i use to play the violin when i was in elementary. i remmeber i loved playing it but i don't remmeber anything. i'm happy i decided to stsart it up again because its been on my heart for the past couple years. so far, its been a lot of fun. we are learning so much already. tiff gets so excited and is always reminding me to practice so its awesome to see her dedicated. i will definiltey keep you guys updated on this.

cider lane.. my new love- by bath & body works

my monday melt- cider lane .... Wow wow wow wow!!!! i can't even begin to tell you how much in love i am with this one. cider lane where have u been all my life. the burn of it is beautiful i don't want to blow this one out at all. i just ...

want to sit by this candle and smile at it. the way the flame dances really makes my heart tickle. very very please with this. i am getting backups for sure. if u haven't tried this one u have to!

here's the description of the candle: As heartwarming as our annual trip to the local apple orchard each year, our delicious fall blend fuses mulled cider and warm caramel with a hint of sweet cinnamon.

video testimony to share...God is wonderful!

hey lovely bloggers!

i have here two video testimonies i wanted to share. the first one is when God helped me quit smoking. and the second is when God lead me to a lonely man in the park who was ready to give up.

Children of Light, I hope and pray that this video will influence you. We are surrounded by shattered souls and a hopeless atmosphere everyday. Please.. God needs us all to step up and be ready to follow when Holy Spirit leads. You hold the light, and I encourage you all to use that light to lit His glory in areas that needs it! I speak this into your hearts, and hope you'll open to agree and recieve. God bless and love you all :)))

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PQpcYd4tXSM

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=09GHAQWKac8

being a girl...

 

am i too old to call myself a girl still? i feel like i am. ;P anyways.. one thing i love about being a girl/woman is all u get all these fun things like makeup, accessories, clothings.. etc.. we have varieties. lol. with that being said i just wanted to share some products i love. i think i did one of these makeup reviews once in my earlier days of blogging but its been a while. not sure if u gals have tried the revlon lipbutter color burst but if u haven't then u should. its half lipbalm and half lipstick. it is some AMAZING stuff. in the two photos to the left i am wearing revlon lipbutter in raspberry pie. these lipstick never ever dry out my lips. it is so moisturizingi have 4 shades total. i will do swatches for the other shades as well. another product to the right of the pix is loreal voluminous origional mascara. my cousin, caroline told me about this and i've used lash blast and clinique mascara in the past but i have to say i love love this mascara. the formula is awesome!!! its not too wet or dry. this is definitely my new mascara. what are some of your lipstick and mascara favorites? please share!

say "cheeeeze"

after almost two years of saying "babe we gotta take studio pictures" we finally did it last week.  when we had tiffany, pary and i went to take family professional pictures almost every 4-6 months. but then we got lazy and busy after Landon was born. plus also, i have my professional camera now so we did our own "professional pictures" by ourselves lol. not the same thing at all since i'm not a professional photographer.

for colors i chose blue and purple. i wanted some fun colors. i didn't want to do the "all one color" like we have in the past. i really like how it turned out.  i didn't want to spend money on new clothes so i'm happy that we were able to coordinate old clothes in our closet.

everytime we take photos i get so nervous about Landon.  he does not like the camera at all.  i have to take about 100 shots before getting one of him with a smile. or either i have to do it when he doesn't see me. overall i'm happy with the results. now i just gotta make prints and send some out.